Here’s my 2017 swansong, inspired by a dash to the shops this morning.
On the 1st day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
A massive wide screen TV (no photo. Think I’m stupid, burglars?)
On the 2nd day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 3rd day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
3 blurry Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 4th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
4 festive pants, 3 blurry Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 5th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 6th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 7th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 8th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
8 beauty salons, 7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 9th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
9 board games, 8 beauty salons, 7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 10th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
10 Prosecco glasses, 9 board games, 8 beauty salons, 7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 11th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
11 golden balls, 10 Prosecco glasses, 9 board games, 8 beauty salons, 7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a massive wide screen TV!
On the 12th day of EsseXmas, Essex man sent me:
a 12 days of Kindle deal so you can buy my book “The Infinity Pool” here for only 99p until sometime in early January (had 10 Proseccos, can’t work out exactly when…)
…11 golden balls, 10 Prosecco glasses, 9 board games, 8 beauty salons, 7 saddo snowflakes, 6 bits of bling, FIVE TRAFFIC JAMS! 4 festive pants, 3 Santas, 2 white vans and a GINORMOUS wide screen TV!
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!
(If you try singing this do send me a video.)
©Jessica Norrie 2017
Words and Fictions 
Looks like you’re all set! Merry Christmas to you, Jessica 🙂 🙂
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Thank you and to you!
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HAHA! I enjoyed this! A good old fashioned Essexmas!!😁🤶
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Good – nothing like an Essex knees up! Happy Christmas!
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Thank you, and to you too 🙂
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Merry Christmas, Jessica!
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And to you Jennie!
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🙂
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Really enjoyed this, Jessica, but I’m not singing until I’ve had the ten glasses of Prosecco – and even then, no video!
Have a lovely Christmas and all the best for 2018.
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Actually round here we don’t bother with the 10 glasses, we just upend the bottle! Hope it’s more elegant (or should that be elegent?) at yours. Have a good one x
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Merry Christmas Jessica. And nice haul on the gifts. 🙂
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And to you, have a lovely time.
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Thank you.
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Merry Christmas, Jessica! And all the best for 2018.
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Thank you – and to you too, with a peaceful New Year.
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Happy Essexmas Jess. A joyful post. And thank you for providing much good reading this year. Xx
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Thanks… I’m hoping I’ll hear you sing it one day Neville!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Jessica Norrie has been on the Prosecco.. not only has she done her own version of The Twelve Days of Christmas.She is feeling very Essexmassy… Having lived in Essex.. I have fond memories… sing along with her and buy her book The Infinity Pool for only 99p for an as yet undetermined festive period.. #recommended.
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Ooh Happy Essexmas Sally, no sooner did this drop into your inbox than you reblogged it! You could teach those queues in Waitrose a thing or two…must get offscreen for a bit now as eyes are hurting but I’ll be back soon to see what you’re all up to and do wish you and yours a very Happy Christmas.
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You should try Tesco…….anyway terrific post and an email winging its way back to you… Thank you again for your contributions this year… Happy Christmas…. xx
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